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Joke of the Day

"The last time you got a piece of ass... Was when your fingers slipped through the toilet paper."

"Went to a bulimic birthday party today... I saw a cake pop out of a girl."

"Sorry, I'm in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way."

"You guys need to leave pedophiles alone! They're just kidding around."

"I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan never knew what an incredible legacy he would leave."

"""I can't believe after all this shit that they're still together..."" ""Who?"" Said a curious bastard. ""My buttcheeks."""

"What does Mr. Miyagi do during his alone time? Whacks on, whacks off."

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""And you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."

"How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is."

"How do you know if there's an athiest on a reddit thread? Don't worry, they'll let you know."