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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster."

"If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry, most likely it's your kid."

"What did one skunk say to another? And so do you!"

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair."

"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot... ...It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away."

"How do you make a 90's kid mad? The game."

"[at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts ""leave it Gary!"""

"Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say"

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."