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Joke of the Day

"Jokes about white sugar are common, but brown sugar? Demerara. "

"Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win you're still retarded."

"How do you turn on a female mathematician? You Euler up."

"Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five?"

"I would make a 9/11 joke But that would just be plane wrong."

"How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!"

"I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up. ""Abort, abort abort"", I shouted."

"Going to the middle east for Christmas Because Christmas is da bomb there... Came up that myself. I'll walk myself out..."

"For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis."

"Facebook is in a relationship with the stock market and it's complicated."