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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing plastic wrap underwear. Psychiatrist says ""Well, i can clearly see your nuts."""

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"I like my women the same way I like my guns... Black and oily with a sensitive trigger."
"""I have parrot-like reflexes."" ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"""
"I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!"
"What has 8 legs and 7 arms? Def Leppard"
"What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo."
"BIRD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable."
"Today my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she said I was the other guy."
"What is the most painful cereal known to man kind? Banana Nut Crunch."
"If there is more anti-matter than matter in the universe ... .... does this mean that there are more anti-black lives than black lives?"
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