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Joke of the Day

"I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck... ...turns out I phoned dial-a-llama."

"Umm, no officer. I'm pretty sure that bag of weed fell out of YOUR pocket."

"Grandma catches Bobby beating-off Stop it! Don't you know you can go blind from that? Gee gram, can't I just do it till I need glasses?"

"One-liners for when you're leaving - example: ""I'm going to make like a baby, and head out."" I also use ""Let's make like a chapped-ass, and split."" What are some other good ones?"

"What was Hitler's favorite way to tie his boots? In Nazi's!"

"Cheezus take the wheel! *bud um sch*"

"I finished off a pizza today like it was planning to testify against me in court."

"Most people can't drink coffee then go to sleep. I'm just the opposite. . . I can't go to sleep and then drink coffee. God, that was stupid."

"What was the weather like at the rap concert? There was a Lil Wayne."

"What's the problem with an invisible penis? You never see it coming."