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Joke of the Day

"I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck... ...turns out I phoned dial-a-llama."

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."

"So this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation... ...comes out of nowhere"

"When god gives you AIDS... Make Lemon AIDS!!!"

"My daughter asked me what it was like when I was a kid, so I took away all her electronics and made her play with a Rubik's cube."

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Can you smell carrots?"""

"My Twitter crush is 4,762-timing me!"

"Theres this one word I always stumble on when I try to remember it.... oh yeah, the word is forget."

"Hipster farmers don't harvest crops because they're only cool when they're underground."

"When your girlfriend says ""I love you"" reply with ""I love you more!"" Because relationships are competitions that must be won."