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Joke of the Day

"I saw a picture of myself on a milk carton once but my new family was rich so I kept my mouth shut."

"University: ""Got any money for tuition?"" Me: ""Go Fish"""

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War? Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!"

"What is similar between Casino and Women Liquor in the front Poker in the back :-D"

"The wife just walked out of the store with bags and didn't notice me standing here. Maybe I need to put 75% off on my T-shirt"

"I just saw a lit up 'Noel' x-mas decoration on top of a house and noticed the 'L' was missing, so I thought to myself, 'look, there's no L.'"

"The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close."

"The True Power of the Spacebar Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man afire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"If I had a dollar every time Trump said something stupid... I'd have a small loan of a million dollars."