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Joke of the Day

"I got a new spoiler on my car. Just a long sticker that says ""Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!"""

"BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision Fuck, how fast must they have been walking?"

"What do you call an eskimo peeping tom? Tom Tookalook. I'm sorry guys..."

"How do you propose to a stoner? Marriage ya wanna?"

"Justin Bieber is going to Hillsong Church conference. We'll see if they make a believer out of him or if he make Beliebers out of them."

"What are calories? Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night"

"Look out man! You know the difference between driving in the fog and 69ing is? You can't see the asshole in front of you driving in the fog."

"Raspberry buy guitar Raspberry take lessons Raspberry answer ad Raspberry show up at drummer's house Raspberry plug in Raspberry Jam"

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"Do you think the husband of the GPS lady listens to her directions?"