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Joke of the Day

"Wife: He's always lying about his celebrity connections.. Therapist: Is this true? Me: Just wait til Sonic The Hedgehog hears this bullshit."

"Nobody is happy. Be like Nobody."

"The Ottoman Empire... Really loved to put their feet up. (such a bad bad joke)"

"Victim gets beat up, laptop stolen But that's not the whole story so if you see ""charged with battery"" don't buy it!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in the fridge."

"What happens when a Pokemon goes through puberty? It's bells sprout."

"Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth."

"I'm gonna start my own TV network called RealityTV(RTV) and play nothing but music videos"

"I've had a rough morning. I woke up and tripped over my wife's bra; it was a booby trap."

"I have really bad hay fever Which means I have an uncontrollable desire to have sex with the straw man from the wizard of Oz"