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Joke of the Day

"God: You finish all 11 commandments? Moses: About the 11th one... God: What? Moses: Check yourself before you wreck yourself? God: Fine, 10."

"The school year is like a burrito... After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart."

"Cease & desist to all of Reddit I've trademarked PLAGIARISM and seek to protect my trademark from infringement."

"What do you call a girl on the grill? Patty"

"What do you call a hen staring at lettuce? Chicken sees-a salad"

"Cut the shit, people who think I'm going to share my arm rest at the movie theater."

"What did one ocean say to the other? I'm not completely shore, but it must have been pretty deep."

"Oh Tuesday. You are the Director's Cut of Monday."

"What's a good Christmas gift for the woman who already has everything except morals?"

"That awesome moment when you comment and get more likes than a person who has tried to insult you in their status. Priceless."