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Joke of the Day

"I've got hoes in different area codes. (I'm very careless with my gardening tools.)"

"What sits down but doesn't get back up? A redditor."

"Shrek came out in 2001 Good for him"

"What do you call conjoined dolphins Dual porpoise"

"Getting caught dating someone underage isn't a big problem. It's a minor problem."

"If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt"

"what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty"

"-That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times."

"I wish I was your math homework Then I'd be hard and you'd do me on the desk."

"Worst part about a dead puppy? Walking them is a real drag."