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Joke of the Day
"Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? The cow has the udder."
Next Joke
"Me to waitress: Do you validate? Waitress: Parking, you mean? Me: No. Like, can I read you some tweets and you tell me if you like them?"
"When I first met my boyfriend, he told me he shared something in common with the KKK... He was right, that man is a wizard under the sheets."
"Someone asked me the other day whole my favorite superhero is... I said that I thought iceman was pretty cool"
"Surely these children should be in bed by now? - me, anytime after 4pm"
"I think when a transvestite goes missing their face should appear on a carton of half & half"
"What goes clop clop clop - BANG! BANG! BANG! - clop clop clop? An Amish drive-by shooting"
"Doctor: Describe your headache. Me: She's about 5'8"", blonde, and the mother of my children."
"Can't ever go back to work after what my boss just said to me ""You're fired"""
"Good news: I finally had sex with my wife last night! Bad news: I spent the entire 60secs wondering how I was going to tweet it to you guy"