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Joke of the Day

"I'm still disappointed that Penguin and Random House merged to become Penguin Random House and not the more hilarious Random Penguin House."

"Why can't accountants get library cards? They're book-keepers."

"I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway."

"Why did the walrus go to the tupperware store? Because he wanted a tight seal."

"What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her? If you incest."

"Does anybody know what date Easter is this year? And if so, what are you, obsessed with Easter"

"I got offered a job at McCormick... ...but it was just seasonal work."

"Ignore her and she'll go away, to buy a gun, but she'll go away."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home"

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"