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Joke of the Day

"do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?"

"Can we stop acting like ""seasonal"" beers makes sense at all?"

"Name a famous robber! Cops!"

"Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open."

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Spanish. Press 3 for Spanglish with Adam Sandler. Press 4 for Gibberish with Flava Fav. Press # for ham."

"How do you make a cat bark? Wrap it around a tree"

"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that but it's also terrible."

"English is weird.. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Edit: R.I.P My inbox"

"You all like dinosaurs...right? What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? ***A thesaurus***"

"Always remember you're someones reason to smile Because youre a joke"