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Joke of the Day
"What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet? *""Out, damned spot! Out, I say!""*"
Next Joke
"Guys; You know you need to lose weight when your girlfriend is always wanting to suck on your titties."
"You will never ever EVER get all the sand out of a suitcase you bring on vacation. EVER."
"Everybody who has played Russian Roulette will tell you it's safe. Well, at least 5/6 people will."
"I couldn't believe it when my wife announced she was leaving me for being too lazy. Especially after I'd spent all morning taking the Christmas decorations down....."
"Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East? He had a way with Kurds."
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause"
"To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one."
"what do you get when you put a roofie in lemonade? Lemonlaid."
"My dog forgot it's mother's day, again."