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Joke of the Day

"9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing."

"Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon."

"Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed."

"Budweiser should spend less on advertising and more on making their beer not taste like skunk butthole."

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"

"My sister said she wanted to have sex with me. I tried to say no, but she was incestant."

"How fast can Klingon's run? About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom."

"JFK and Abe Lincoln were two of the greatest president of all history. I think it's because they were so Open Minded."

"We're making self portrait masks in art class. I think I'll get an A+. I could just be getting ahead of myself."

"Have you seen the new globe they're making? It's revolutionary"