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Joke of the Day

"What's Hitler's least favorite planet? Jewpiter"

"Before college, I didn't know what I was doing with my life, but now I'm confident I have no idea what I'm doing."

"FB lets you write your sex in now, so I have officially become a hat."

"Why do you never see prostitutes on airplanes? They don't give a flying fuck."

"What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"Extra car key Extra house key Extra storage unit key Key to an extra apartment with a liquor cabinet - Keys to a successful relationship"

"What's the difference between a girl's track team and a village of pygmies? One's a bunch of cunning runts....."

"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"

"Whats it called when you give a dolphin food for it to do a trick? Squid Pro Quo"

"Come on, there has got to be at least one business like show business."