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Joke of the Day

"Star Wars: A New Hope Star Wars: Return of the Jobs Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Cash"

"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Clearly the chicken. How would an egg orgasm?"

"For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.. I can't put it down."

"Dear girls, not every guy is in love with you, sometimes they like your prettier friend and need your help."

"Did you hear about Trump's import tax assessment? It's tariff-eyeing"

"Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr? Because it has cis-trust issues"

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"VICTIM: He had a beard & a scar SKETCH ARTIST: Is this him? VICTIM: That's Bart Simpson SKETCH ARTIST: Yeah I can only draw a couple things"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face."