118421

Joke of the Day

"If ANY part of my body touches the shower liner, I call in sick to work."

"Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound? If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump?"

"If 9/10 people suffer from herpes.... Does that mean, the last one enjoys it?"

"I'm torn between feeling like I can do anything if I wanted to, and feeling like I don't want to do anything because I don't want to."

"I saw a dog taking a dump and I totally thought of you."

"My wife has been really cold to me lately. Ever since she passed away."

"What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice? A Fjord Fjocus."

"COP: Nobody on the main floor. Let's check upsta-- GIRAFFE COP: Nobody upstairs"

"A bald guy in a turtleneck sweater looks 97% like a roll-on deodorant."

"If you watch an Apple store get robbed... are you an iWitness?"