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Joke of the Day

"*PLOT TWIST* Breaking Bad last ep. Walt takes off the mask to reveal he was Dwayne Johnson The world finally knows what the Rock was cookin"

"What do you call a group of cows robbing a Skyscraper? A high-steaks mission."

"Your mom doesn't understand Your dad doesn't understand Your friends don't understand But french fries, french fries understand you"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care now and I probably won't care later."

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich."

"Ryan had to go potty real bad, but the door to the potty was Lochte."

"Everclear songs are really easy to play on guitar It's because their dad's weren't around to give them music lessons."

"Sir, there is a complaint filed against you. You called the prime minister a whore... OK. Who filed the complaint, prime minister or the whore?"

"Whats the saddest thing about global warming/iceberg melting? Polar bears won't be able to keep their cokes cold."

"Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond."