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Joke of the Day

"The Iron Chef judge who said flavors ""explode"" in her mouth is so inconsiderate. Now I can't hear the show over my own adolescent giggling."

"How are women like condoms? They spend 99% of their time in your wallet, and the other 1% on your dick."

"Wanna hear a joke about a piece of paper ? Nevermind , it's tearable."

"Did you hear about the straight white male viscount who ruled with an iron fist over one field? He was an oppressive shitlord."

"I picked up a girl at a bar. She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I screwed her three times and hit her with a brick."

"""One of my neighbours had half of his large intestine removed,"" I said to my mate. ""Did he end up in a coma?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied, ""But he did end up with a semi-colon."""

"Pa's being chased by a bull! Well what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me some film for my camera!"

"How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him."

"What do termites put on their toast? Door jamb."

"What did they change the name of the gay bar in Orlando to? No Pulse"