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Joke of the Day

"*swivels around in evil chair* *evil laugh* *pets evil cat* *evil cat laughs* *jumps out of evil chair* ""Holy shit, that cat just laughed!"""

"Where is Wall Street? Between Mexico and the US."

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity...... Twice."

"Honey, were out of snake food. ""What? For what snake?"" Honey, I bought a snake"

"What do a Christmas tree and a sterile man have in common? Their balls are for decoration only."

"my agent sent me a list of my followers & circled all crude avatars in red ink. if i dont block these people it WILL cost me the Arby's deal"

"What kind of book does an Irish cultist read? The Leprenomichaun."

"I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most? Balonely sandwiches."

"Regarding Daughters Any father will tell ya that parents spend the first 2-3 years of a daughter's life trying to teach them to talk, and the next 15 or so trying to get them to shut-up."

"What do we want? ROCK HARD ABS! When do we want them? THE DAY AFTER THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!"