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Joke of the Day

"[gets on Facebook] [types ""you pushed me away but expected me to stay""] [everyone nods, this is considered extremely good shit on there]"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

"in mexico, we don't say ""I love you"" cause we dont speak english."

"People do not know how to merge into traffic. All you do is yield, look left, close your eyes, and go."

"If I had a nickel... If I had a nickel for every economics test I passed, I'd have 7 cents."

"does anybody have any funny quotes from the new Anchorman movie that they'd like to share for the next seven to eight years"

"What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag"

"The primary function of a necktie is to show the direction of a man's brain."

"2 guys walk into a bar The third one ducked Thank you I'll... Leave now..."

"Why do Italian men wear gold chains? So they know where to stop shaving."