89872

Joke of the Day

"Good thing Brazil won...otherwise I'm pretty sure they would've just cancelled the rest of the World Cup."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... ...one turns to the other and says, ""Wow, I can't believe I blew 50 bucks in there."""

"If Hillary brought a carpet bag to New York, what did Bill bring? Hard wood."

"Almost had a threeseom. All i needed was 2 more girls."

"Dear Kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents. Love, Julian Assange - *WikiLeaks*."

"Taco guy: guac costs extra Obi Wan: [wafts hand] guac is free Taco Guy: guac is free... Anakin: why'd u even pay for the taco? Obi Wan: dammit"

"What do pirates like to wear during the winter? Scarves"

"I went to the zoo today, and the only animal it had was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu."

"What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? ""A fedina? What's a fedina?"" ""*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"" Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season."

"What do ISIS and Little Miss Muffett have in common? They both have curds in their whey!"