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Joke of the Day
"Why is Santa so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."
Next Joke
"Why are gay guys good helpers when moving? They know how to pack your shit."
"What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement? What're you asking me for? I have Asperger's."
"Starting a conversation Do you know how heavy a polar bear is? Enough to break the ice. *winks*"
"Which stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin. It says in the bible, Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 10 miles."
"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates, they'll kill your dog."
"I felt like dancing after mixing cheap rye with powdered orange drink I called it my Whisky Tang-o Foxtrot. Seriously, WTF was I thinking?"
"What do you call a group of singing killer whales? An orca-stra."
"So he says "" Nice glasses"" and I say "" Thanks! They're for seeing "" *slaps knee*"
"Me: why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie Surgeon: wtf M: he was too far out man S: how are you still awake we heavily sedated you"