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Joke of the Day
"Why are gay guys good helpers when moving? They know how to pack your shit."
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"Mario's Jeans What kind of jeans does Mario wear? *(in appropriate melody)* Denim, denim, denim..."
"Smoke alarms are stupid -- like I'd ever forget to smoke."
"Me (said to my friend over the phone): ""Is it just me... ...or is someone walking behind me""? Friend: ""No, it's just you""."
"I want to adopt two kids... ... with cancer, both named Jordan. I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans."
"Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. ""Is that good?"" No one will make eye contact with me."
"How many guys in the friend zone does it take to change in a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
"What is the first thing a fat person does on a website Accept cookies"
"Why is Iron Man Italian? Because to get him you have to rig-a-tony.."
"I really enjoy my morning expresso... ... it's always esploding with flavour."