117740
Joke of the Day
"My friend Mark called me pretentious so I slapped him with my silk handkerchief."
Next Joke
"How can you tell if someone is an entrepreneur? Don't worry, they'll tell you"
"I've got my ion you, baby!"
"What is yellow, fluffy, and hides your slippers? A Labrador Deceiver."
"God hates a coward! ...He ain't to fond of idiots either"
"Every crime show turns into sitcom when the cops bring the husband for questioning and he asks, ""Why would anyone want to kill their wife?"""
"#BREAKING Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus."
"What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!"
"In 1975 Bill Gates was out on a date... ...and he asked his female companion what he should name his new company. She replied that he should name it after his penis."
"While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin."