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Joke of the Day

"Which Fruit Can't Get Married??"

"Some say the five knuckle shuffle isn't a finishing move My girlfriend is not one of them."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a hand towel? So you're the one!"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"

"Can someone come to my house and tie me to my toilet? I keep falling off. I shit, you knot."

"What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl? Her resume."

"What do you call 2 lambs dating? A relationSHEEP."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alf ! Alf who ? Alf all if you don't catch me!"

"I just burned 2000 calories... That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!!!"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"