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Joke of the Day

"To the cars honking behind me, Sorry I held up the drive thru line for 5 minutes counting to make sure I got all 50 of my McNuggets"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, said Papa Bear. Someone's been sleeping in MY bed, said Mama. Why don't u share a bed?! cried Baby Bear."

"How do you outrun a horse, tiger, lion, and elephant that are chasing you. Get your drunk ass off of the merry-go-round."

"What was Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft"

"What do you call a toilet seat that's missing the left side? Half-assed. (please forgive me, first time)"

"Dad just dropped this at my cousin's 8th birthday party...I was the only one to burst out laughing.. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with."

"I used to be a necrophiliac... til the rotten cunt split on me"

"What's the motto of the Mexican army? An Army of Juan"

"A neutron walks into a store Neutron : ""How much is this pack of gum"" Store Clerk : ""For you it's no charge"""