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Joke of the Day

"Today I have gone in a date, I got engaged, got a dog, moved into a new house, got pregnant, and got married. I love sims."

"The french invented a new bulletproof vest That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs"

"What do you call Christopher Walken when he is sitting? Christopher Sitten"

"What's the only type of seafood that Sean Connery won't share? Shelfish"

"My grandma once told me... that she is a virgin"

"What's the greatest symbol of inequality? ="

"Thanksgiving with the snail family I had the snail family from next door over for a big Thanksgiving dinner, they are still feeling sluggish this morning."

"Scientists have discovered what a woman wants. But she changed her mind the next second."

"Do twins have the same size penis? It's a valid question. I'm sleeping with one and really hope the other brother is doing better"

"The first rule of parenting is: never negotiate with terrorists."