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Joke of the Day

"How do you exorcise a demon? Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups"

"A Ducks walks into a bar He orders a beer and says.......... put it on my tab."

"Oscar Pistorius gets six years jail. Jail, then home detention, and back to jail. Wow, for someone with no legs he's covering a lot of ground."

"They should fill the airbags with confetti to make car accidents more fun. *crashes vehicle* ""OMG, my legs! Hey, a party!"" *dies smiling*"

"What job pays you to shoot people but not harm them? A photographer."

"When I was younger, everyone used a wristwatch, but now everyone has a clock on their phone. How times have changed."

"It's not a ""junk drawer,"" it's a free-spirited drawer without expectations or limits."

"I like my women the way I like my wine... 15 years old and locked in my cellar on a rack."

"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."

"A drunk driver gets pulled over by a cop The cop asks him ""how high are you?"" The drunk driver then says ""isn't it supposed to be hi, how are you?"""