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Joke of the Day
"VJ Day Because Hirohito was a cunt."
Next Joke
"I 've got an intense fear that I am a hypochondriac, or at least showing symptoms of one"
"Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives."
"What does a noodle say after praying? Ramen"
"Sometimes I make statements in the tone of a question?"
"I think my wife is cheating on me with an undertaker. I could swear she was wearing clothes when she died."
"Just once I'd like to have the confidence to order something off of a menu without having to look at the menu while I'm ordering it."
"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't have heard of it"
"I'm going to start a comedy club in Africa... I'm going to call it ""Lafrica"""
"Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. I think I'll return the piece of shit to Ikea!"