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Joke of the Day
"I had a dream that I ate 5lbs marshmallow... I woke up and my pillow was gone."
Next Joke
"Never get a circumcision from an unqualified professional It's a rip off"
"This is a haiku. This is really a haiku. This is not a haiku. --- --- --- ^^^Edit: ^^^missed ^^^a ^^^word ^^^and ^^^almost ^^^ruined ^^^it."
"There are two guys in a radar station... when all of a sudden an incoming missile shows up on the radar. One guy shits himself and the other guy turns and says ""Ha! ICBM""."
"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."
"My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree."
"How did hitler like his women? just like his swastikas. No curves"
"Instead of sending an ""e-card,"" why not swing by & fart in my mouth?"
"Sobering fact: Humans share over 99% of our DNA with clowns"
"[2 years after going missing at zoo] wife: [points at TV] ""omg thats him"" me: [on the news inside kangaroos pouch] ""why is noone helping me"""