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Joke of the Day

"Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians."

"Why did the pentagon change it's name to the square? Because they were cutting corners."

"My daughter just lost her first tooth! That'll teach her to talk back."

"""I am"" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ""I do"" is the longest sentence? Holy shit this blew up"

"My Brian Williams's helicopter jokes have been going great! None have been shot down so far!"

"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Santa."" ""Santa who?"" ""Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."""

"this one is courtesy of a friend of mine... so did you hear about ku klux kineeval(sorry if ,misspelled)... ...he tried to jump 20 black guys while on a steamroller!"

"Woman's Logic: Bikini No problem. Bra and underwear: OMG DON'T LOOK!!!"

"I just got out of school and landed my first full-time job! I could have sworn I made more money in college... working for my parents... as their son."

"How do you get Reddit to go ape-shit? Tell a domestic violence joke."