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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a therapist's office, looking for closure..."

"Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, ""If I'm alive by then,"" and hang up."

"Pythagoras was a skeptic... ...but now he believes in angles"

"Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokemon."

"90% of the steps on my FiBit are just me wandering around looking for my keys"

"I take pictures of my weed because they say the camera adds 10 pounds."

"Every time I think the younger generation is stupid, I remind myself that we took a long time to figure out that WWF was all fixed !!"

"Why Donald Trump will win the primary but loose the general election? He can push through the Bushes but cannot climb a **Hill**ary."

"I entered a contest to win a set of really nice vegetable knives ...but no dice."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey!"