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Joke of the Day

"I really didn't like how I look after I shaved off my beard... ...but now it is starting to grow on me."

"If a blind girl tells you your penis is massive... ...she's probably pulling your leg (great show by Jimmy Carr tonight)"

"What do you call a Chinese prostitute? Wun Dum Ho"

"What's a blind mans favorite car? A cataract"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put in the wrong socks this morning."

"What do you call a horny dog in the kitchen? A fur-tile bitch"

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon.... and Michael Jackson liked to molest little boys."

"Peter Parker's at a party He's offered a blunt. ""No,"" He says looking out the window at the skyline. ""That's not the Mary Jane I need."""

"So /r/cringepics posted something actually cringeworthy."

"I'm having a hard time believing Jesus was a carpenter. He was a miracle worker. You'd think he'd just wave his magic wand and POOF! Bench."