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Joke of the Day

"[Snow White sees her doctor] Snow White: How bad is it, Doctor? Doc: Damn it I told you I'm a mine worker not a doctor. It's my name, idiot"

"If I had a time machine and could travel to any time imaginable, I know in my heart I'd probably just set that thing to lunchtime."

"What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series? One has cubs"

"When I sit down on a field, I automatically start pulling grass out of the ground."

"Just thought I caught my wife looking at porn; turns out she was shopping for underwear for herself. What a fucking pervert."

"Pimples on teenagers are asterisks on things they say* *Listener discretion is advised"

"How do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you."

"What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach? A pocket full of shells."

"If you find yourself in conversation with a stutterer, it is best to shout out ""Reeeeeemix"" and scratch at invisible turntables."