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Joke of the Day

"Last night I watched a great U.S. Olympic Trials semifinal match that featured Sylvester Stallone vs Joey Lawrence in a Pronunciation game."

"What's black and white with red all over it? A nun with multiple stab wounds."

"Why did Napoleon return from exile? He needed more Elba room."

"""I have to take a shit, play Stairway To Heaven."" - Radio DJ's"

"I went on a trip to a postcard factory last week. It was OK. Nothing to write home about"

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"

"Step 1:Make pillows with""Love"" printed on them Step 2:Become a lawyer Step 3:Defend men who smother their GF with love Step 4:Become rich"

"I was kicked out of a strip club last night for throwing twenty quid at one of the strippers. Ok, I admit it was in pound coins."

"I'm a Buddhist coke head I hope when I'm reincarnated I come back as a donkey, so I can grind my teeth all day."

"I wrote a status about unemployment earlier, but didn't post it. It needs some work."