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Joke of the Day

"I was kicked out of a strip club last night for throwing twenty quid at one of the strippers. Ok, I admit it was in pound coins."

"I track my calories religiously every day. First they are on my plate and then I put them in my mouth"

"I'm insensitive I don't get the sense of words."

"Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts ""No this is Creative WRITHING class"" Other student squirms around on floor ""Very good Todd"""

"What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink."

"An alcoholic walks into a bar"

"Where is the best place in town to buy marijuana? High Street, of course."

"An Imgurian walks into a bar REPOST"

"9/10 people said they enjoyed gang rape"

"I've created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It's so strong... It'll get you stoned to death."