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Joke of the Day

"Sure, 50% of marriages end in divorce and yeah, that's sad. But 100% of married people will die, and isn't that a greater tragedy?"

"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep I can't speak for everyone else in his car though"

"[praying mantis first date] Female: You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Male: Yeah well, you know, saving it for marriage."

"Sex has a speed limit It's 68, because when you get to 69 you have to turn around"

"Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck."

"What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !"

"unrelated but I believe strongly that Woody Woodpecker is a lesbian"

"Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left Glutes ( )"

"You know what I'd say to the victims of the Russia-Ukraine conflict? Crimea River"

"Senior year of high school is a lot like a retirement home... You don't work anymore, you hate everyone who's younger than you, and in a few months, all of your old friends will be dead to you."