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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 3am!!!! 3 in the morning can you believe that?! Luckily, I was still awake playing my drums."

"Ugh, I may have lost my ""World's Best Dad"" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went."

"How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup? Literally all gardening stops"

"Confusing Holiday!!!! ""What is the most confusing holiday in Harlem? Father's day""-unknown"

"What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"My wife broke her SatNav and wants $150 for a new one. She can get lost."

"USA: ""Hey nachos, today's your big day!"" Nachos: ""What about Cinco de Mayo?"" USA: ""What'd you just say?"" Nachos: ""Nothing."""

"I saw a police helicopter last night... ""Hey look, a flying pig""."

"Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!"

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."