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Joke of the Day
"Before I eat chips, I have to look in the bag for a perfect one"
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"How did Darth Vader cross the street? Ewoked."
"It's kind of bullshit that humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want."
"Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!"
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? ""Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"""
"If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one."
"I found out about Forrest Gump while looking into Fitbits. He was the best of all the running aids."
"I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me on the way I had cooked his steak. ""Well done"" is rare from a medium."
"TIL the word ""Muppet"" is a combination of ""marionette"" and ""puppet"". It's like how the word ""mobster"" is a combination of ""man"" and ""lobster""."
"The group wanted to pour some wine but unfortunately... Decant"