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Joke of the Day

"""I had the worst Cruise ever."" - Katie Holmes"

"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."

"Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink."

"What's the difference between an Afghan Military Base and a Pakistani School? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"My girlfriend kept asking me why I wasn't giving her the time of day anymore I said fine! It's 10:43"

"Where do dead people buy their cigarettes? At the coroner store."

"Why hasn't Beetle Bailey retired from the Army yet?"

"When did the gay atheist become religious and started praying? When the gunman walked into the club he was in and started shooting and the doors were locked."

"I'm a practicing Catholic But I'm not ready to go pro just yet."

"Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life."