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Joke of the Day

"I play Jenga on the first date... so she knows my pull out games strong"

"What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Cell phones."

"I wanted to gift my brother a drum set... ...but I decided to keep it for myself. **badum tss**"

"TSA agents might have to arrest me if... They felt deez guns *flex*"

"What did the Mexican girl say to her fiance? You're the Juan!"

"*discretely picks a booger* *slyly wipes it on her blouse* Funeral Director: Sir, we can see you and narrating it just makes it worse."

"I don't know if this is a good idea. Narrator: He knew, in fact, it was an awful idea."

"Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes? Because it's a FAST food!"

"Cheezus take the wheel! *bud um sch*"

"What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck"