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Joke of the Day

"i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die"

"The tragedy of Jack & Jill is they went *up* the hill to get water. You get water from the *bottom* of a hill. Stupidity killed them."

"What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck? I'm not sure, but I know ***IT LIKES TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT***"

"Who invented the sucker punch? Mike Dyson"

"Have you heard of the band 1023 MB? Have you? No? Probably because they don't have any GIGS!"

"What's an owl's favorite subject? Owlgebra"

"What is the difference between an 8 year old fine wine and a bad wine? One does their chores while complaining, the other doesn't do them at all."

"I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury."

"How many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? A lot, because they're fucking stupid."

"hmmm this cereal is bland, tasteless, boring, flat, flavorless...*checks box* oh, Synonym Toast Crunch"