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Joke of the Day

"[genie emerges from his lamp] Master, what is thy [he sees me on the bed pointing at the remote like 3ft away] Are u kidding me"

"Bonnie said I should join the Facebook like she did. Said its good way to get in touch with friends. Lord, at my age I'd need a ouija board"

"My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works."

"I give this cheese an ""A"" I grated it myself"

"I went to the blacksmiths for a job interview He asked me ""have you ever shoed a horse before?"" I replied ""no, but i told a donkey to fuck off."""

"haha lol ownded dad!!!! u may thimk its nice that u get a fathers day once a year, but ther is a son day evrey week"

"Gone are the days that girls cooked like their mothers, because these days they drink like their fathers."

"Zombies must be great with girls. They're always getting into their guts."

"I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon."

"Most people have a schlong You have a schlort"