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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar... With his ship's steering wheel on his dick. The bartender asks, ""Whats with the wheel on your john?"" the pirate replied, ""Arrg it's driving me nuts!"""

"Worst part of being sick? Sneezing while taking a piss..."

"I run an amateur dramatic society. Someone approached me recently wanting to do an all dwarf version of the pantomime ""Aladdin"". The concept is a little wishy-washy."

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"I've heard of a chicken coop... But turkey coups must be the new thing"

"Why your mother had you Your mother did not get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with you because she wanted you, but because the abortion cost more then keeping you alive."

"I don't want you to feel like you can't express yourself, but I do want you to stop talking."

"The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray."

"With great power come great.. power bills. *- Uncle Ben, electrician.*"

"How to play a pokemon game Buy a $250 Pokemon machine ( 3DS )"