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Joke of the Day

"What did Johann Sebastian Bach do when someone steam-rolled his organ? He played a flat baroque piece!"

"I keep getting scolded for things I didn't do! ""What didn't you do?"" ""My homework"""

"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina."

"Why don't you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"""Say hello to my little friend"" Great Movie Quote. Terrible bedroom talk."

"Nothing will get this Billy Joel song out of my head. At this point, I'm praying for a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack."

"Light Yagami thought he was going to die on those stairs, but then he woke up the next day... And realized it was just a Near-Death experience."

"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've already lost three days."

"My friend Mahmoud bombed his physics final. At least he didn't fail."