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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget the last thing my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. He said ""Watch how far I can kick this bucket!"""

"Steve Irwin lived like he died... ...with animals in his heart."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I was wearing the wrong socks."

"When I was about 14/15 I wanted to be a plumber, then I wanted to be a firefighter, then pizza delivery man,then I stopped watching porn."

"What's brown and sticky? My poster of Beyonce."

"I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked. Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately."

"A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says, ""hey pirate that's got to be hard to walk with."" Pirate says, ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""

"Wife: the library called about an overdue book *eye my copy of Outlandish Excuses for Everyday Life* ""Tell them I died in the moon wars"""

"This just in! A truckload of wigs has lost control and tipped over on the highway........Police are still combing the area."

"I remember this from a Monty Python ""My dog has no nose!"" Says one man. His friend asks ""well how does he smell?"" ""Stinky!"""