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Joke of the Day

"I'm rubber, you're glue. He's scissors, she's a toner cartridge, those fellas are paperclips. Welcome to the supply closet pal."

"Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children."

"Before kids: I'd choose going blind over going deaf. After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!"

"What's invisible and smells like bananas? monkey farts"

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender"

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years."

"What do you name a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, he ain't coming anyways."

"New Game Here's a new game we can all play! You have to use a long mallet to hit frozen potato treats through hoops on a field. All while dressed as a frontiersman I call it Croquette Crockett Croquet"

"[giving grandmother's eulogy] But on the plus side, that's the fastest she ever got down the stairs."

"I had this really funny joke about the sun i was going to tell you all, but some bastard has made a funnier joke about the moon and totally eclipsed it."