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Joke of the Day

"I'm rubber, you're glue. He's scissors, she's a toner cartridge, those fellas are paperclips. Welcome to the supply closet pal."

"How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it."

"The toilet at my local Police Station has been stolen. Cops have nothing to go on"

"My husband brought home one happy meal for two kids. Frankly things would have been less dramatic if he'd brought home a girlfriend."

"To a young housewife: remember that a small bottle of vodka not only will decorate the table but also will hide your cooking mistakes."

"Why did SJWs call out Medusa? She kept objectifying people."

"What happens to you at Christmas ? Yule be happy !"

"Archaeologists are the ultimate hipsters They love all that underground stuff."

"When I said I wanted an origami book... I didn't mean a regular book in the shape of a butterfly."

"I got fired from the sperm bank today.. Apparently they frown upon drinking on the job."