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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no female serial killers ?? Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone."

"Joke's on my neighbour, I actually like being kept locked in his shed."

"A man was caught having sex with the Venus de Milo... ...he was charged with statutory rape"

"Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food"

"What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 watt"

"Mao Zedong, Stalin, Hitler, and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... (user was banned for this post)"

"A joke the owner of the pizzeria I work at told me while listening to Beethoven. Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? Because it wouldn't stop saying ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""

"Me: SPIDER! Brain: Nope, fluff. Me: SPIDER! Brain: That is a fly. Me: SPIDER!!! Brain: sigh. That's your hand idiot."

"I would walk 500 miles just to be the man who gets to eat these donuts."

"Face down, ass up, that's the way babies often sleep. Adorable!"